Fighting My Way Back to Athlete
The patellar tendon just below my knee has been barking at me lately. It’s not an injury from running — it’s the result of being undertrained after letting myself go for too long. The pain is always there at the beginning, but it loosens up as I run. To help, I started doing some simple at-home PT: wall sits, decline squats, and tendon activation before I head out the door. It’s another thing to add to the list, but it feels good to be doing something about it. This isn’t just about getting through a half marathon. For me, it’s about becoming an athlete again.
Intermittent Fasting: Wins & Struggles
Fasting is still a challenge. Around noon I start to feel hungry, especially if work slows down. When I’m busy, I hardly notice it — but when I’m not, food is all I can think about.
On Tuesday I had decided I’d eat at 1 p.m. because I was starving. Right as I was about to break my fast, someone messaged me about a Teams call. That call stretched until 2:15, and just like that the universe saved me from myself. The very next day I made it until 2 without a problem, which proved that so much of this is mindset — just like running.
I’m also not pretending I’m eating perfectly. One night it was shepherd’s pie, another it was Philly cheesesteaks, and yes, there was a trip to Buffalo Wild Wings in the mix. We’ve eaten out twice since I started this journey. Both times the extra salt and calories nudged my weight up, but as soon as I got back to home cooking the very next day, it dropped again.
“Everything in moderation, including moderation.” — Oscar Wilde
Weight Progress
- Starting Weight: 320.3 lbs
- Last Week: 312.3 lbs
- Week 2 Weigh-in: 306.8 lbs
- This Week’s Loss: 5.5 lbs
- Total Lost: 13.5 lbs
Another big week down. To be honest, I didn’t eat all that well in the evenings, but the weight still came off. That tells me just how bad my eating habits were before — and it makes me want to keep going.
I know this pace won’t last forever. At some point, I’ll have a week where I eat clean, step on the scale, and nothing changes. That’s when the real mental battle begins. It’s discouraging, but the difference between people who hit their goals and those who don’t is the ability to push through weeks like that.
I also know intermittent fasting won’t last forever. My plan was to use it only during the first month. That means in about two weeks I’ll need to add breakfast back in, which means I’ll have to balance calories differently. Right now, fasting lets me get away with heavier dinners, but once breakfast returns I won’t be able to do that. The hope is that fasting shrinks my appetite enough to make the transition easier. That’s a battle for future me.
Run 1: My Own Worst Enemy
- Conditions: 50°F | 93% humidity | 49° dew point | 1 mph breeze
- Distance: 2.01 mi | Pace: 14:56 | Elevation Gain: 81 ft
- Avg HR: 142 | Cadence: 126
- Music: Arcade Fire — WE
This one was exactly what I expected: miserable. But I only have myself to blame.
During my warmup walk, I hit one of my running nightmares — reaching the trail at the same time as another runner. My choices were either to slowly try to pass him or to let him run a few feet behind me the whole way. I decided I’d rather have him behind me. To make that happen, I sped up just enough to get there a step ahead of him. The problem? My run started seconds later, and I didn’t want him to think I was painfully slow. So I did what runners should never do: I blasted out of the gate.
The first run segment came in at a 10:55 pace. Not terrible for me, but way too fast for the first three minutes of a run-walk. It was like maxing out your credit card in the first store you walk into — you spend the rest of the trip paying for it.
Splits: 10:55 | 11:55 | 12:06 | 12:51
The overall pace was a little faster than last week, but it didn’t feel that way. Last time I finished strong with negative splits. This time, I faded. To make it worse, the run segments lined up differently: instead of walking the hills like before, I ran every single one, and this time the run finished at the top of the steepest hill in town. By then it felt like the course itself was messing with me.
The one silver lining? My tech worked. My watch reset, my music kept playing, and despite the misery I finished the workout.
Takeaway: Starting too fast still ruins a run. But I ran longer intervals, climbed every hill, and finished anyway. Sometimes that’s enough.
Run 2: Locking In
- Conditions: 58°F | 88% humidity | 54° dew point | 2 mph breeze
- Distance: 2.31 mi | Pace: 15:11 | Elevation Gain: 94 ft
- Avg HR: 138 | Cadence: 126
- Music: Greta Van Fleet — The Battle at Garden’s Gate
This run was the opposite of Run 1. While the walk breaks split it into four pieces, I felt like I found a rhythm and held it the whole way. I wasn’t gasping for air, and it wasn’t miserable — just a steady, comfortable effort.
Was I slower? Absolutely. But not by much. And honestly, this pace is probably closer to where I should be running until my heart rate recovery improves.
Splits: 12:42 | 12:44 | 12:17 | 12:32 | 12:37
The only split that stood out was when I sped up past a car in a driveway. It was early, still dark, and I didn’t want to risk being invisible to someone backing out. After that I had to settle back into rhythm, but the pace stayed steady.
Takeaway: This was the first run that felt like running used to feel. Not fast, but sustainable. That’s the direction I want to keep going.
Run 3: Tolerable Misery
- Conditions: 63°F | 91% humidity | 61° dew point | 2 mph breeze
- Distance: 1.75 mi | Pace: 14:54 | Elevation Gain: 72 ft
- Avg HR: 136 | Cadence: 126
- Music: Greta Van Fleet — From the Fires
This time, I broke my own advice about not starting too fast — but I did it on purpose. Coming off a good run Wednesday, I wanted to see if I could push closer to a 12-minute pace. My goal was to stay within what I call “tolerable misery.”
And it worked, mostly. The third segment ended on a hill, and that combination definitely stretched my misery tolerance, but I managed it. The walking breaks felt shorter than usual, but I knew I had two rest days ahead, so I didn’t mind the push.
Splits: 12:13 | 12:07 | 12:47 (the hill) | 12:14
My average heart rate keeps dropping thanks to faster recovery. During the run it hovered around 153–156, a little higher than I like, but manageable.
Takeaway: It’s okay to dip into misery sometimes, as long as it doesn’t become every run. That balance keeps me coming back.
Side Stories That Kept Me Going
- Perspective from TikTok: A relative of mine is training for a marathon and posts her runs. Her first three miles in a long run were all around 13:00 pace. Seeing that reminded me I’m not “too slow” — I’m just where I am right now.
- Perspective from my daughter: She’s been running grade school cross country for a few years. She walks a lot, and I never think she’s giving it her all — but her meet this week? She finished at a 10:13 pace, faster than I thought she could go. Watching her reminded me that there are a lot of different ways to get to the finish line.
Final Thought
This week had its struggles — with fasting, with starting too fast, with temptation at dinner. But it also had steady runs, progress on the scale, and proof that I’m stronger than I thought.
There are many ways to get to the finish line. The most important part is just getting there.
